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may i introduce myself? - Depression-Anxiety

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August 7th, 2009

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02:46 pm - may i introduce myself?
my name's matthew, and I suffer from anxiety, depression and post-traumatic-stress-disorder, and I have ADD.

From ages 5 onwards through highschool to the present i have been bullied. At age 6 i was bullied by a teacher, at age 8 i was nearly drowned by a bully of the same age, i've had mostly social bullying, name-calling, teasing and rejection. I contemplated suicide at age 14, had a nearly psychotic episode of paranoia at age 15, and since then have been seeking counselling. Because of the bullying i've had low-self-esteem, what relationships i've had haven't worked out in the long-run, which adds to my depression. I get panick attacks at work based on how busy it gets, and i even wonder if the medication i'm on to stop some of this stuff from happening is actually making things worse.

Sorry if i'm doing a whole emo-dump, or seeming self-centered in this post, I just wanted to let people know a bit about me.

I try to deal with the stuff, but most of the time i can't handle it. I try to distract myself with trying to think of the positive outcomes of work, but that doesn't usually work. Tomorrow night i've got work and i'm scared about another panick attack happening again.

I guess i'm just wondering if anyone has any advice, or techniques i should know about.

yours sincerely

matt (namuhhtrae)

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