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Life skills - Depression-Anxiety

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October 10th, 2009


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yellowhair
06:07 pm - Life skills
I just don't have the skills necessary to deal with life. I mean most of my life I have been alone or in my bed sleeping. I just never learned how to deal with anything and there was never anyone there to help me. I feel so lost. I got a job at a sandwich shop and they made me take this stupid menu test and my memory is so bad I couldn't even remember anything so I didn't pass. The girl that gave it to me was 22 and she just looked at me like I was stupid. It was so degrading and stressful. She said I can retake it next week. I just can't do anything anymore. I am cracking up. I just got in my car and started crying because I just cant deal with anything anymore. I just drove crying and speeding. I felt like I just wanted to crash my car. I feel like I have nothing to offer. I am just a waste of space. I know nothing like a child. I am uneducated because my anxiety was so bad I didn't finish school. I never really socialized. I have been in my own little hole for so long. My own little world. I know nothing about the real world except it is cruel. How does someone make up for so many lost years? The truth is I could die and it really wouldn't make any difference. The people I do know are tired of dealing with me. People keep telling me that other people have it much worse but that still doesn't change the fact that I can't deal with anything. Some people are just screwed and there is no reasoning to it. I don't think anyone has had a life as weird as mine...
Current Mood: tiredtired

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